Own It

Every so often I glance over my website to check the flow and feel of it. I want to make sure that my readers are engaged and not distracted. Uplifted (even through my difficult posts), and not weighed down.

I noticed something interesting today as I skimmed the site.

There is a hard, clear shift in the visual content beginning with the first post after my husband returned from his deployment in Afghanistan, and in every post thereafter.

It looks brighter and happier!

Now, I had noticed earlier on that my posts were not particularly joyful from a visual perspective though I have tried to maintain solid hope and truth in the articles nevertheless.

The point is that I had initially tried to change it and failed.

I found myself unable to commit to the “happy” persona it seemed I must have in order to be a well-received, Christian writer. I couldn’t commit because it was not authentic… and I’m terrible at faking it, or as I’d rather call it, “lying”.

A rip-off is a put off and that’s what faking it eventually produces: repulsion.

I just can’t do it!

I’ve heard that there is a certain persona one must maintain when in the public eye. I have heard that there is not much wiggle room for pastors. If anything there is less.

We Christians tend to hold our leaders to an impossible standard of holiness and perfection. Perhaps this is because we have too often placed our hope in them instead of the Lord?

I refuse to be part of the insanity.

I appreciate leaders who do not subject themselves to such things. My own pastor says often that if you are looking for the pastor who has it all together, he’s not that guy. While I share on a much deeper level than generalities, I concur. None of us have got it all together.

The difficult part is acknowledging our shortcomings and being willing to walk through the obscurity.

Anytime we are following God’s will there is going to be obscurity. When certainty abounds it is likely we have inserted our plans into the places God had intended to work miracles.

Where are you today?

Do you have it all figured out? Is the master plan going along swimmingly as you climb the ladder? Is everything is measuring up to what you imagined?

If it is you are settling for less.

I want to encourage you to make peace with the unknown. It is in the dessert where God prepares us for the Promised Land. It’s okay to be lost in the desert for a while. It happens to all of us. It will all make sense later.

Being on the other side of this I can tell you that it doesn’t last forever and there is always hope.

Don’t hide.

Don’t isolate.

Don’t try to be what you think you’re supposed to be when God has approved you with His own blood!

He’ll work it out. All you have to do is stay close to Him. Most importantly, remember His love for you and saturate yourself in the Word. My bleakest situations have been those I failed to confront with the truth of scripture.

If life is about how you see it, choose to see the truth.

Your sister,

Monica

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